i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
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