There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
