I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Randomize
