I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Randomize
