i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize