So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
