I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
