My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
