so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
