also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
I hope mine doesn't look like that
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize
