wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Randomize
