i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
try to milk me bitch
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
