I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
My breasts were aching with rage.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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