I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Congratulations! We have a period
Randomize
