is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
