I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
