Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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