VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
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