Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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