Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
