I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
