omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
