There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
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