ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
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