yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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