Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
