i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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