is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
