Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
