Can Purell be used as lube?
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
I need mimosas to revive my soul
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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