is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
