So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Randomize
