Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
