All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
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