i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
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