Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Randomize
