I'm drive I can fine osifer
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
