No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
