do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Randomize
