Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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