i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
