her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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