Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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