i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Randomize
