big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
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