Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
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