the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
