I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Randomize
