AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I think my moral compass just broke
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
