so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
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